Friday, January 01, 2010

A long time gone and a year in review

Seeing as my last blog post on this site was summer of 2008, I'm guessing I've lost more or all of my readers. Totally fine. I'm not upset with you for leaving. I'd leave, too. But, guess what? I'm back. And I've tried to entice you back with a very snazzy photo of me and my new HUSBAND (yes, 2009 brought a marriage). That mustache on his face is not real, but it made a real statement.

Today is the FIRST day or 2010 and I thought it appropriate to blog again on this poignant day.

It's too much to think about trying to catch you up on all things 2009. Besides, 2009 is sooooo yesterday. Know what I mean?

I figure, I keep writing, things will surface about the year that has just passed. I will briefly bullet point a few highlights, to which I will reply to any specific questions from my non-existant fans.

2009 in bullet points:
  • New Years Eve 2009 was spent meeting my now-husband's parents for the first time
  • February 21st 2009 - I got engaged. I had worked all day at the Film Independent Spirit Awards and had no idea that I'd be coming home to a candlelit house, champagne, rose petals and the most beautiful ring I've ever seen.
  • March 26 2009 - I turned 26. Eh.
  • April 2009 - My friend, Amy, who has been immobile for the past year got an artificial disc placed in her lower back and she can walk again! Miracles do happen. I learned a lot about the Lord during this time in my life (her illness and recovery).
  • May 1 2009 - X-Men Origins: Wolverine opens #1 at the box office. My name appears in the credits as "Assistant Visual Effects Coordinator."
  • May 2009 - My writing partners and I had our first ever meeting with a manager about our TV drama pilot script that we wrote.
  • June 2009 - My grandfather, "Binks," passes away. He was the true definition of a patriarch and lived the most Christ-like life I've known.
  • July 4 2009 - Our nation's birthday. Also, my wedding day. Greg and I affectionately call it "Dependence Day." The setting: the blazing hot South. My hometown of Lake Charles, Louisiana. Fireworks. We left by boat. Amazing. From Louisiana a honeymoon in Costa Rica where we ziplined over the tree tops of the jungle.
  • July - September 2009 - Worked on the set of a giant film directed by the legendary Garry Marshall. The film is called Valentine's Day. It stars every actor every in Hollywood. Ever. I worked as the script coordinator and also appeared on screen making out with my husband in a scene with Anne Hathaway and Topher Grace. I also became eligible to join the SCREEN ACTORS GUILD! Go see it FEBRUARY 12, 2010!!! See trailer here: PLAY TRAILER
  • October 2009 - Our short film, GRANDE DRIP, wins the coveted Audience Award at the Heartland Film Festival in Indianapolis for "Best Short." Our short has played at a total of 7 fests, with more to come!
  • November 2009 - I make the decision to begin pursuing acting. I book a small scene with Reese Witherspoon and host a sporting event for Sports Studio Casting. I also start working for a commerical casting director, running camera and learning the ropes.
  • December 2009 - My dad takes my husband duck hunting for the first time over Christmas break. Santa brings me golf clubs so that I can pursue my new pasttime and perfect my shot.
As more comes to my head, I'll likely update these bulletpoints. But there it is. Pretty jam-packed, eh? Funny thing is that I feel that 2010 will be even BIGGER AND BETTER. God willing!


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

tickin' on down life's poop shoot

current time: 9:40 pm on wednesday july 23rd. current mood: giddy. the source of my child-like giddiness comes from the most unusual of places. the ice cream man, you might guess? nope. a fresh batch of puppies? huh-uh. hannah montana? not even close. the elation and excitement pouring forth from my being stems from a colon. yes, you read it right. a large intestine. a crap canal. the long squiggly thing that connects the small intestine to the poo hole. at precisely 7:15 tomorrow morning i'll be meeting my uncle at his office at memorial hospital where i will then be wisked away to the ladies' locker room, outfitted in scrubs (YES!) and taken into surgery. and while the details of the exact procedure are still a mystery, the fact that i'll be in the OR watching someone get sliced open is enough to send me over the moon.

friday, july 11th, was my last official day working at 20th century fox. the feelings were certainly bittersweet, but i have no doubt that all the "good" parts of that job will carry over into my life, like the people, for example. they will all be in my life in one way or another. but i couldn't stay for other people. it was my time for me to move on. i knew it. and the Lord knew it. and He made no bones about telling me loud and clear to just...go. the daily duties of my job weren't exactly thrilling or fulfilling. i had hoped to go out on a film but after over a year, that desire had not come to fruition. it was no one's fault really, well unless you count Owen Wilson and the entire collection of Hollywood writers.

so, i left. partly because of my sedentary existence that was driving me crazy, partly because of the men's restroom that lingered a mere 5 feet from my sensitive nostrils, and mostly because i just knew that i needed to DO MORE. that feeling not only included dreams and aspirations in the world of entertainment, but also my medical school yearnings. i swear, the best way to describe my love-hate relationship with this medical school thing is to compare it to a puppy that wants to play SO bad and just keeps nipping at your heels. medical school is that puppy. i imagine it to be a little lab or retriever. sometimes i want to play with it and other times i want nothing to do with it (those are the times where a cute baby has stolen my attention away from the fluffy puppy). note: the baby here = entertainment.  after going non-stop in LA for 3 years, the abrupt halt into unemployment was a bit jarring. i decided to take a trip home to lake charles to visit them fam, relax, and hopefully catch a surgery or two...just to give the puppy a little treat (a beggin strip, perhaps).

i arrived home in lake charles on july 18th after a swift 24 hours in houston (that included hooters, the aquarium shark voyage, and my dad driving semi-intoxicated). my la pal, em rose, decided to come to lc-towne with me and experience the South in a new way. she, too, needed some R&R and, let's be honest, there's no place better to tick-on-down than right here in SWLA.

em rose and i had a great time. 3 days of non-stop action that was surprisingly relaxing. we took the moss megastation out on the lake, went tubing on the boat, fishing on the warf, and we ate ALL the time. total vacay. when em left, i was here...alone. when i woke up on wednesday morning without her here, i felt as though one of my arms was missing. lc town can get lonesome real fast. luckily, i had one major event to look foward to - a colon surgery. not my own. but one that might very well SAVE my life...
the time now is 3:10 pm on thursday, july 24th. (sidebar - x-files 2 comes out tomorrow, how excited are you!?) this morning, as i was eating my pepperidge farm cinnamon swirl toast, i never imagined that i would be sitting here able to say i held a human right ascending colon with a tumor. but them is true words! i met uncle ken in the lobby of lake charles memorial hospital and swiftly headed upstairs with him to the women's locker room where i got changed into scrubs. as soon as in donned the blue cotton duds and cinched the drawstring around my waist, i felt connected to something. i felt not only connected to family but also to a purpose. i imaged making that dressing or "suiting up" ritual a part of my daily routine. these mere pieces of cloth being the armor that i would put on to walk into battle with a foreign invader on behalf of someone else's body. ATTACK.
i walked down the hall around to the nurses station and looked for Cori, the nurse who was helping to prep the patient. i spotted her cap from down the hall (it had some festive little bears on it...or something) and she motioned for me to "come this way." and so i did; i follow directions well. she told me to snag a mask and hop on into the OR. as i tied the last knot in the mask around my face i kept thinking about how lucky i am. upon merely asking, i'm about to walk into a supremely private moment in one man's life - a moment that is literally life or death. i can't help but wonder WHY the Lord has placed this interest inside of me, this desire to HELP people, this love for science and the body? and WHY, with all of that...stuff...did the Lord nearly equally place inside of me this passion to tell stories and to create and write and appreciate art? when i'm on a set, i feel like there's no other place i'd rather be. but standing here, standing on the cold tile floor in the OR, machines pumping and beeping, nurses sterilizing and prepping scalpels and clamps, why here, now, do i never want to do anything but this?

the patient was awake when i walked in. he was alert. and scared. the anesthesiologist was getting ready to put him under as the nurses were prepping the body. as i walked over to the patient he began to fade away and within a matter of minutes he was gone. the "milk of anesthesia" had done it's job, along with a short term muscle relaxer. the nurse then began to shave the abdomen and the anesthesiologist asked me if i wanted to help to put a tube in. "yea!," i replied. "let me go get some gloves." when i walked over to the glove box, my uncle was standing there. i had been in the OR the whole time so i didn't really realize that my uncle had gone away to "get pretty" (as he calls it) and had come back in sterile. i put on my gloves just about the same time that he cracked a joke and, in what was an involuntary comedic response, i reached out and slapped him on the shoulder. oops. my bad. he looked at me and i immediately knew what i had done - touched his sterile gown. he made it not a big deal at all and just changed his gown and gloves quickly on the opposite side of the room. note to self: sterile means sterile. don't hate or contaminate!

i moved back over to the patient and placed my hands on a KY-lubed tube that was to go in through the nose and down the esophagus into the stomach. the anesthesiologist got it started and once it was in i took the reigns. i slowly slid the tube down, fighting a little resistance but nonetheless making it down the GI tract. every once and a while he'd have me stop and he'd affix a suction to a port to see if any green bile came back through the tube. that was a good sign (it meant we had arrived at our destination). once the tube was in, the cutting began. i'll be honest, i wish i could have made a few cuts but i think that might have been a little unethical. the primary midline incision down the right side of the abdomen didn't look incredibly hard. but once through the fact, tissue, and muscle we hit the mother-load as the abdominal cavity opened up. my uncle grabbed a retractor to open up the space for easier working conditions and the swiftly plunged his hands inside our patient. his hands were there one minute and gone the next, deep inside the body poking and prodding. one thing he was doing was feeling the liver to make sure it was clear of any palpable tumors. after that, it was time to find that damned tumor and remove its carcinogenic ass!

as the surgery progressed, my head bounced back and forth between the surgery in front of me and the anesthesiology going on to my right. (i was standing on a small foot stool at the patient's head). i was learning so much so fast. my mind had a million more questions but i didn't want to slow down the surgery at all (as i knew that the longer a patient is under anesthesia the more risky it is). i asked questions when appropriate and figured i'd look the rest up in my books (or on google). my uncle was voraciously attacking the right ascending colon, making sure to get all of the mesentery and "blood supply" components along with it. there were some really neat "tools" that he used during the surgery that cut so many "steps" out of what i can only imagine would have been a tedious process otherwise. one such tool performed in one swift motion a GIA (or gastrointestinal anastomosis). the tool literally bisected the bowel at the point where the right ascending colon meets the transverse colon and anastomosis (which means the connection of two structures - referring to connections between blood vessels or other tubular structures like the loops of the intestines) was done using a stapler with a 75mm cartridge. in seconds one piece of bowel became two, with both new "cut" ends already sutured shut. the sutured end of the transverse colon would remain in the patient's body, while the sutured half on the right ascending colon was about to come completely out. after a few more nips and cuts, the entire right bowel was removed and placed into a sterile bowl (this is the first "piece" of your large intestine that connects to the small intestine and also carries the appendix). when the bowel came out, uncle ken told me to go put some new gloves on and feel it. i was hoping he would say that! i trotted over and gloved up then picked up the bloody organ. it was quite large and slimy. as i palpated the bowel with my fingers it was very evident where the tumor was sitting. a hard, fibrous-feeling mass about 4 cm large. i was actually surprised that they had removed such a large section of the colon, but it makes sense, i guess. not wanting to leave behind any surrounding tissue that could be invaded and cause another tumor to form in the new area.

the nurse immediately called pathology and they were to do what was called a "frozen section" on the specimen. this means that the pathologist will immediately come up to retrieve the specimen and give an analysis right then and there before the patient is closed up. normally pathologists don't examine the tissues/organs until the following day but, in this case, there was a more urgent need for analysis. how is a frozen section made? A cryostat, a special microtome (fancy mechanical knife) refrigerated to -20 C, is sued to cut a froz en section, which is put on a glass slide, stained, and coverslipped for examination under the microscope. it was cool because as uncle ken continued to work, the pathologist spoke to him about the prelim results via intercom.

time to reattach the small intestine to the new bowel (now minus the right side). i won't go into extreme detail here but instead make it easy to understand. the GI tract (down to the poop hole) is basically like a system of connected pipes. if we think of it that way, it will make it easier to understand the new "system." i've also included a, shall we say, "rendering" of how it worked. so, the right side with the tumor is now gone. all that remains of the large intestine is what you see in GREEN below. also, notice where the small intestine USED TO connect to the part of the colon that is now gone (marked by the yellow/blue circle at the bottom. that opening to the small intestine will NOW MATCH UP with the yellow/blue circle on the wall of the TRANSVERSE COLON. uncle ken cut a small hole in the wall of the transverse colon that will match up with the mouth of the small intestine. now, this man has a new set of pipes!
as he was sewing up the new pipes, i simply stated, "man, now the way he poops will be a little different, huh. there's not as far for it to travel now." he said that i was right and started explaining how the changes would affect him. to understand that, i'll have to explain a few general body functions. first of all, the job of the large intestine (aka colon) is to absorb the remaining water from the bowel and turn it from a liquid to a solid (stool) form. the right ascending colon (which we removed) plays a major part in that water extraction. also of importance is the valve that resides at the intersection of the small intestine and colon (basically where that yellow/blue circle is above at the mouth of the small intestine). this valve (called the ileocecal value) regulates the flow of undigested food (aka chyme) from the small intestine into the bowel as it opens and closes. since we've now REMOVED this important regulatory valve, undigested food will flow more freely and fluidly into the bowel. apparently people who have a problem with constipation love this surgery. i couldn't help but think about the people on the other people...the IBS people. yikes.

he sutured the edges of the mouth of the small intestine to the circular hole created in the wall of the colon. an inner and an outer suture. gotta make sure that baby is SEALED. wouldn't want anything leaking. not good. the suturing process was cool, too. i learned that there are two main categories: absorptive and non-absorptive sutures. some sutures are meant to, over time, be absorbed by the body as the tissues naturally heal in the process. then, there are others that are permanent. for example, those on the INNER seal of the small intestine/large intestine were absorptive (chromic sutures) and the outer ones were permanent (made of silk). so much to learn!

after it was all stitched up, it was time to "close." but before that could happen, a few warm bowls of saline solution were poured into the abdominal cavity. uncle ken explained that there is a limerick to recite to remember how to make sure to reduce the risk of infection. and it goes a little somethin' like this: THE SOLUTION TO POLLUTION IS DILUTION. basically, that means this - when the saline is poured into the abdomen, it finds small pockets of bacteria that are lurking around and "washes" them up and then the solution is sucked out.

as ken started sewing up the main midline incision, i realized suddenly that i was just a part of a life being saved. if not saved, certainly prolonged. i had an overwhelming sense of purpose - a feeling that people search for most of their lives. i pictured myself standing there, being the one in control, being the one to have the answers, to possess the skills. i could see it as clear as day. and i liked what i saw :)

the final staple was punctured into the stomach and the skin was closed. a job well done by all. uncle ken left the room to go and do his post-op routine (dictating the surgery, filling out meds orders, etc) but i, of course, stayed and tried to squeeze every ounce out of the experience. as the masks came off and the patient began to wake, it was over. i followed the bed form the OR to the Recovery Room, shook a few hands, and tossed my scrubs into a bin. as i put my street clothes back on, it took everything in me to NOT steal a set of new scrubs! not STEAL, but take to commemorate my experience. i didn't do it. but as i sit here, about to get ready to go to bed, i'm thinking how sweet it would be to put those babies on and crawl into bed. i think i'll have to talk to my uncle about snagging a pair of those beauts!

what am i doing right now, other than reflecting? oh, just watching HOPKINS on ABC...a medical show set at John Hopkins in Boston. (sigh) DEAR LORD - WHERE DO YOU WANT ME!????? PLEASE! observing surgery didn't PUSH me over the edge, but it certainly didn't make things any easier. i've decided that when i return to LA, i'm going to heavily start researching schools and programs and applying to post-bac programs. i can't start classes til next year anyway, so i'll have time to settle into a decision and keep pressing on doors in Hollywood. as long as i keep seeking God's will, i think either path will be blessed.

dr. moss
signing off

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

spring 2008 - the highlights

gosh, STOP JUDGING ME! i know, i haven't written in a while. to be fair, i write more on my entertainment blog than i do here because, let's face it, my life is entertainment. however, i know that i don't write there near enough either. GET OFF MY BACK, geez.

in order to satisfy my 3 fans, i thought it best to give highlights of the last 6 months, in both words and pictures. A LOT has gone on over the first half of 2008 and it must be shared. i've learned so much, grown so much, and laughed a ton! so, here we go (working backwards from today):

june 2008 :: only 11 days in an already this month has been a doozey!

10th - blobby crim was born at 2:11 am! 5 lbs, 15 oz and 19 1/4 inches long. proud parents travis and delaine are doing well. amy and i visited baby blobby last night (not even 24 hours old) and felt honored when we experienced his "first poop." the night before, as cc headed to the hospital, greg and i made the crims a spirited cell phone video, complete with high kicks and punches to "coax" blobby down the vagina canal. it worked! *name update: SYLAS AUGUSTUS CRIM

8th - red eye red carpet for humanity event in bel air @ chateau rose. me, jessica, steph and our man-date randall but on our party clothes and headed to this fabulous event. justin mayo, exec director of red eye, inc, threw a huge silent/live auction to raise money for the creative epicenter they are building at the la dreamcenter in downtown la. justin's committed to providing a positive place for la's youth to learn and grow. all our peeps were at the party: elkin and bobby, tam and phil, meg m, the daylights, tommy two tones, caitlin crosby, and more! i felt so blessed to be in such good company. after the event, jess, steph and i went back to have randall serenade us on guitar. it was awesome! a bit jason mraz, a bit jack johnson, his voice was dreamy. we kicked it at director michael O. sajbel's house and had a little "jam session." michael, ps, is one of the nicest people in the world.

7th - happy birthday anton! after a long day of breakfast meetings and voice-over casting sessions, all the party people got to kick it old school for tony's 25th birthday! we had wine and apps at our place, then walked to clay oven and had an indian feast (yum mango chicken masala!). after that, we ended the night with ice cream cake and a dance party at casa de mossford. the shoes came off, the furniture was moved, and the moves started flowing like pimp juice. i did some splits on the floor, anton did his famous body role, crystal did her best "bon qui qui," cc rocked the stank face, and greg, jess, trac, and amy all provided a little sweet sauce of their own. and sam took pics! ha.

4th - bible study rocked! phil BROUGHT IT. the spirit was moving and the Lord was doing some HEALING work up in that place. Thanks Lord! post bs, erose, dairek and i went to a diner to give our notes on dairek's script. how fun is that? i can't disclose anything about this teen thriller but just's good! after a few story tweaks, i think d will have something to be very proud of and i plan to help him get it made!

3rd -tonight i had a meeting with jeff/jm/and martim regarding our short film THE VALLEY KINGS. i really like to story but i don't know if the timing of the shoot (end of June) will work with my schedule, esp considering my commitments with the LA Film Festival. i may have to ride backseat for this one...

2nd - me and trac had dinner with the lovely holly jeter to answer any questions she might have before mike offered her the job as his assistant/coordinator! we all had a great time and holly was really sweet. i feel good knowing that my position is going into such capable hands. more than that, i like knowing that mike is getting a nice gal!

1st - the ranch! ok, so erose, dairek, amy and i headed on over to a fiesta glorious party at luke's "ranch" in north hollywood. we weren't expecting much. some good guac, maybe a few streamers, and, of course, tortilla chips. when we arrived at the evite address, we were a bit confused. all we could see what a large "forested" area on the entire corner of the block (nestled deep in NoHo). we eventually found the entrance (like the secret door in "the secret garden") and had no idea what we were about to walk into! waiting on the other side was a zen wolf/cat sanctuary and trailer park. luke's "house" was two trailers set side-by-side, plopped in the middle of nature. a wolf came up and liked my hand to welcome us to the party. as we followed a stone path around the "grounds" we arrived upon a huge turtle pond. further down the path was a wild african cat sanctuary with cages and cages of the coolest cast i'd ever seen. we then looked up to see large shells and chandeliers handing from trees. i was beside myself with excitement. who knew places like this existed?

may 2008 :: COMING SOON

april 2008 :: COMING SOON

march 2008 :: COMING SOON

february 2008 :: COMING SOON

january 2008 :: COMING SOON

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

fighting off the quarter-life crisis

(*this is me on my most recent shoot checking out the new RED camera...)

welp, it is here. the day i was plopped onto this earth has arrived. well, i didn't plop out today-today. let me take you back to '83, the year "terms of endearment" won the oscar and the swatch watch was invented. 1983. a simpler time. you remember...the "moonwalk" dominated dance floors worldwide. ah, yes. that early 80s. that's when little emoss entered the world.

as i sit here, clocked in at being 25 now for mere hours, i can't help but revel in a tad quarter-life crisis.
wait, let me rephrase or re-brand that.
it's not so much a "crisis" (a true "crisis" being something more along the lines of realizing there was a hole right in the crotch of my jeans or something). no, not a crisis. i guess i'm stuck in more of a quarter-life evaluation, my head filled with little "check boxes" and me asking myself to check "yes" if it's something i've completed or accomplished by now and "no" if it's yet to be tackled. the crisis, i guess, comes in realizing that the "no" boxes are dominating. that's what's frustrating to me, someone who is her own self-proclaimed hardest and worst critic.

i've decided to make myself and other around me, here and now, accountable for things i hope, no, WILL accomplish this year (in no particular order):

1) travel out of the country (preferably on a mission trip of some kind...)

2) read 3 books (i know that doesn't sound like a lot for an entire year but, trust me, it will be a challenge just to find the time...)

3) tidy up my drama pilot and put it in the hands of people who can make it a reality

4) write and direct a short

5) take an improv class

6) buy a piano (?...this is contingent of having a place to put it...)

7) make a demo reel for voiceover work

8) be involved in a play (either performing or behind-the-scenes)

9) do some acting

10) ride my bike more and drive less

11) WRITE...even it if's not perfect

12) volunteer (preferably in the medical field in some way...)

13) give more generously

14) change jobs...and get more responsibility!

15) eat healthier

16) learn how to say "no"

and the list goes on...

welp, now it's out there. in the ether or universe or wherever those things float. i'm determined to make 25 a year to remember...

Monday, March 24, 2008

what it means to have meaning

my grandma sent me a birthday gift today in the mail and inside was a small book entitled "reflective moments." a book such a this is something she gives about once a year. this one joins others i have at home, the likes of which range from "great toilet jokes" to "contemplations on God." each time she sends one, she never forgets to autograph the inside and mark it in time with a date. i love that about her.

i decided to start out my day today by reading the nearly 30 quotes in the book, hoping to have a few of my very own (as the book promised) "reflective moments."

some of the quotes were neither here nor there, probably ones i've heard before or things that just, to me, sounded kind of...well, cheesy. others, however, really gave me pause and made me think. i picked out my favorite ten and sent them out in an email to a few friends in hopes that one or more of them might strike a chord or bring poignancy.

one of the quotes was uttered in history by marcel proust, a french novelist, essayist, and critic who produced a very influential work in seven parts in the early 1900s entitled "in search of lost time." proust was quoted as saying:

"The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes, seeing the universe with the eyes of another, of hundreds of others, in seeing the hundreds of universes that each of them sees."

the reason this quote resonates so deeply with me is because i thrive on learning about people. i define both being connected to the world around me and being connected to God by my connection to humanity. knowing people's stories, striving to identify or at least be open to their experiences, laughing with them, crying with them, having compassion. all of these things together (not one or the other) make up how i give meaning to life.

i was thinking the other day about the film "into the wild" and how it had such a profound impact on me. while many people found it to be extremely depressing (and by plot and circumstance it was), i came away from the film being inspired. the events that transpired are without a doubt tragic in every sense of the word. not only are they tragic, but the way that christopher leaves the world is also tragically ironic. and here, in this tragic irony, is where i found my inspiration. his need to escape all that he knew and set out on a journey alone to find the meaning of life ultimately gave him the answer he set out to find...just simply too late. after denying identity, family, friends, money, and the world and being isolated from civilization in every sense of the word, tears came to his eyes as he took his last breaths, mustering up any strength he had left to scribble on to paper this untimely revelation:

life doesn't mean anything unless you have someone to share it with...

do you see the inspiration that this brings!? if i hole up, isolate, think i can live this life all on my own, everything that "means" anything to me will die with me and, by therefore HAS NO way of living on. if i share a story or a moment or a photograph or an experience with someone, they, too, take something from that and, in turn, become a part of it. my meanings take on new meanings. life is shared and passed on. we become connected.

now, i say all of this ultimately realizing that the proverbial question of "what is the meaning of life" truly has its foundation in Christ. however, if we LOOK at the life of Christ...on Earth...he lived AMONGST the people, he traveled, shook their hands, held their children, ate at their tables, desired to SHARE life with them. and THIS allowed him to speak truth into their lives.

if we are willing to truly POUR into others, meeting them where they are and allowing the LORD to be the one to do the work, not only will our own lives take on new meaning, but the things we learn will be magnified by our shared experiences.

when i re-examine the quote from proust above, i can see the Lord speaking so clearly through the words.

we don't have to travel to distant lands to have distant experiences.
we don't have to look to the poorest of nations to find a poor battered soul.
we don't have to live away from sinners to stay away from sin.

we just need new eyes...

outdoorsy trifecta

this saturday, at roughly the exact same time, my friend-group was split up, enjoying the outdoorsy trifecta of la livin':

ben, trac, cc, greg and co. were hiking up a strenuous yet beautifully serene trail in the mountains of topanga canyon.

dairek and erose were shredding snow on the slopes of big bear mountain.

emoss and amy were cruisin' along the beach and santa monica pier on bikes, playing catch in the sand and watching the sunset over the ocean.

THIS is why people move to los angeles...

thanks, lord!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

it don't gotta be a masterpiece to make it art

It's 9:38 pm on a Monday night and I'm lying on my bed, shoes off and belly full of sushi (courtesy of Sushi Mac).  I'm procrastinating wildly from going over to my army green shoulder bag and hauling out the actual work I need to get done for my day job.  I'm instead wallowing in the fact that I'm pissed off at myself for not writing more.  What's ironic about this moment is that right now, only a mere 10 feet away at my neighbor Chris' house, our writer's group is meeting.  And I'm missing it.  To...write?

You see, the thing I just realized is that the reason I'm so afraid to blog is because I feel like it has to be perfect.  Moreover, I feel like it has to say something "important" or poignant.  I don't feel like I can just write...say what's on my mind, spitball some ideas, post silly pictures.  I've realized that I haven't posted anything since DECEMBER of 2007 because I've been waiting to have enough time to write what?  And to that, I have no answer.  What I've wound up actually doing is missing opportunities to write about thoughts and feelings I've had in many many moments over these past few months.  And trust me, there have been A LOT.  Especially in the last 3 weeks.  And I've missed them because I've been too scared of not being "perfect."

So, screw that.  I'm serious.  SCREW THAT.  Today I write simply to write.  I don't have anything all that important to say.  I might later, say in about 20 minutes or so.  Or, you know what?  I might not.  I might not have one intelligible thing to say for a week.  But that doesn't mean I can't write about what's going on...what I'm doing, who I'm meeting, what I'm feeling.  THAT is what makes life livable.  Our experiences.  And the way WE specifically view them and go through them.  That's what I can blog about:  Life.

So, to start things off on the right foot, I'm just gonna take you through my day.  And that'll be good enough, gosh darn it.

TODAY: March 18th 2008

Well, today started off on the WRONG foot.  I've been promising myself that I'm going to start going to the gym or at the very least get active in some way.  Yeah, that hasn't happened.  I had planned to get up early this morning and hit the gym, come back and get ready and then head to work.  After snoozing on my alarm for about an hour, I realized my morning plans were changing.  There would be no aerobic activity for this little mossy.   So I got in the car pissed off.  Pissed off  at my lack of discipline and also pissed off at the fact that I'm not gonna have a super-SVELT body for the beach this summer.  (Sigh).

Today's my grandma's 78th birthday.  Or, as she puts it, she's "17 for the 8th time."  She's such a little biscuit.  I gave her a buzz today to wish her a happy 17th and also to thank her for sending me a fat $$hundy for my birthday which is on Wednesday.  With the gas prices the way they are, I need all the free money I can get.  Holla.

Work was busy today.  Mike was running around like crazy because he and Haco were leaving for Canada this evening and he was trying to get all his ducks in a row.  For whatever reason DALLAS kicked back up today.  This cat is on its 8th life.  I kinda wish it would just die.   

Current time: 11:43 pm.  As I was writing this blog, my neighbor Chris came over and invited me to go and play ROCK BAND.  I said "Ok, but just one song cause I have a lot of work to do.:"  Cut to an hour and a half later and I'm back.  Man, that thing is addictive.  I'm a Medium level on pretty much everything (guitar, bass, singing, drums).  I like the drums a lot.  Tonight was my first time to play them and I already got Medium pretty well.  I think I just have natural rhythm!

Anyway, now I REALLY can't waste any more time writing this blog cause I already did that playing ROCK BAND.  

Peace.   (PS - Tomorrow I'm working a screening for Film Independent for their director's series where David Fincher is speaking.  Fun stuff!)