Tuesday, March 18, 2008

it don't gotta be a masterpiece to make it art

It's 9:38 pm on a Monday night and I'm lying on my bed, shoes off and belly full of sushi (courtesy of Sushi Mac).  I'm procrastinating wildly from going over to my army green shoulder bag and hauling out the actual work I need to get done for my day job.  I'm instead wallowing in the fact that I'm pissed off at myself for not writing more.  What's ironic about this moment is that right now, only a mere 10 feet away at my neighbor Chris' house, our writer's group is meeting.  And I'm missing it.  To...write?

You see, the thing I just realized is that the reason I'm so afraid to blog is because I feel like it has to be perfect.  Moreover, I feel like it has to say something "important" or poignant.  I don't feel like I can just write...say what's on my mind, spitball some ideas, post silly pictures.  I've realized that I haven't posted anything since DECEMBER of 2007 because I've been waiting to have enough time to write what?  And to that, I have no answer.  What I've wound up actually doing is missing opportunities to write about thoughts and feelings I've had in many many moments over these past few months.  And trust me, there have been A LOT.  Especially in the last 3 weeks.  And I've missed them because I've been too scared of not being "perfect."

So, screw that.  I'm serious.  SCREW THAT.  Today I write simply to write.  I don't have anything all that important to say.  I might later, say in about 20 minutes or so.  Or, you know what?  I might not.  I might not have one intelligible thing to say for a week.  But that doesn't mean I can't write about what's going on...what I'm doing, who I'm meeting, what I'm feeling.  THAT is what makes life livable.  Our experiences.  And the way WE specifically view them and go through them.  That's what I can blog about:  Life.

So, to start things off on the right foot, I'm just gonna take you through my day.  And that'll be good enough, gosh darn it.

TODAY: March 18th 2008

Well, today started off on the WRONG foot.  I've been promising myself that I'm going to start going to the gym or at the very least get active in some way.  Yeah, that hasn't happened.  I had planned to get up early this morning and hit the gym, come back and get ready and then head to work.  After snoozing on my alarm for about an hour, I realized my morning plans were changing.  There would be no aerobic activity for this little mossy.   So I got in the car pissed off.  Pissed off  at my lack of discipline and also pissed off at the fact that I'm not gonna have a super-SVELT body for the beach this summer.  (Sigh).

Today's my grandma's 78th birthday.  Or, as she puts it, she's "17 for the 8th time."  She's such a little biscuit.  I gave her a buzz today to wish her a happy 17th and also to thank her for sending me a fat $$hundy for my birthday which is on Wednesday.  With the gas prices the way they are, I need all the free money I can get.  Holla.

Work was busy today.  Mike was running around like crazy because he and Haco were leaving for Canada this evening and he was trying to get all his ducks in a row.  For whatever reason DALLAS kicked back up today.  This cat is on its 8th life.  I kinda wish it would just die.   

Current time: 11:43 pm.  As I was writing this blog, my neighbor Chris came over and invited me to go and play ROCK BAND.  I said "Ok, but just one song cause I have a lot of work to do.:"  Cut to an hour and a half later and I'm back.  Man, that thing is addictive.  I'm a Medium level on pretty much everything (guitar, bass, singing, drums).  I like the drums a lot.  Tonight was my first time to play them and I already got Medium pretty well.  I think I just have natural rhythm!

Anyway, now I REALLY can't waste any more time writing this blog cause I already did that playing ROCK BAND.  

Peace.   (PS - Tomorrow I'm working a screening for Film Independent for their director's series where David Fincher is speaking.  Fun stuff!)


kyle said...

Yeah, that's the spirit. More letters = more insight. Just get them thoughts flowing. Most stuff I write about is complete nonsense.

Glad you've got those drums down. A thought: You on drums, me on guitar, Anton on the mic. We'll be called Emily and The Suckers.

and... Happy Birthday?

Jessica said...

Yesss! I'm so glad you're back! Love your brain. :-)